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Many an innocent creature has been cruely punished in the prisons. This page is dedicated to the survivors!!!!!! This section strays from the movies, like a fly to a dead carcas. It makes no sense, the joke was written by Urko. Where's my wooden stick!! This crap is not featured, but relates to the movies, in a very lose way e.g. we use our characters names.
Sick Amusement, Yet Bloody Funny Stuff!!!! Urko doesn't just serve as a butler, he also engages in a spot of death sport, at Dr. Knevil's pleasure. If he doesn't comply, he's beaten with the wooden stick, if he does, he's beaten with the wooden stick, but not as vigorously!!!!
Carry on Copulating!!!!!!! Urko's two children who he gave birth to and didn't know about, because he was being beaten with a wooden stick at the time of birth, were hidden from Dr. Knevil infear that he would beat them with a wooden stick. Dr. Knevil found the babies and beat them with a wooden stick.(the babies were fertilised with the wooden stick, coincidentally as Urko was being beaten with it!!!!!!)
There Is No Escape, Don't Make Me Beat You!!!!!!!!!! One day, when Dr. Knevil lost the wooden Stick, Urko used parts from Knevil's super weapon, to create a small bicycle. Urko overpowered Knevil and attempted escape. Dr. Knevil found the stick and beat him.
Extra, Extra, Read All About It, Urko Beat With Wooden Stick!!!!! After years of being beaten with the wooden stick, Urko marched up to Dr. Knevil and told him that he was leaving, the doctor then beat him with a wooden stick. Urko left any way and went for a desk job at a local newspaper. On entry, he was given an interview, in which he showed his lengthy resume, after which the employer offered him a job and then beat Urko with a typewriter. After a week, Urko was fired. He returned to Dr. Knevil, and begged for his butler job. The doctor was most forgiving and accepted Urko with open arms, and a wooden stick.
Wooden Stick Airlines Urko is yet again trying to escape Dr. Knevils grasp by constructing a jet aircraft sled out of the doctors waste dreadnought components. Urko launched himself from the doctors layer and was able to tavel over the atlantic ocean before reaching safety. Unfortunately for Urko the dreadnought components were fitted with a recall device and so Urko was flown back to the layer were he was greated by a wooden stick. Epilogue: Urko was forced to fly into the wooden stick at mach 2 for the next 3 weeks.
Is It A Bird? Is It a Plane?......... No, it's Urko and this time he has gone too far. In a blind rage he stole the wooden stick and attempted to hit Dr. Knevil. He failed, missing by a millimetre, he hit Dentures instead! The stick, 'Urko 5', broke straight down the middle!!!! This enraged the Doctor somewhat, and he beat Urko with Dentures. After doing this, he put the dazed monkey, in the rocket sled and sent him out on a collision course for the newest of his weapons, the supersonic, laser-guided wooden stick, 'Urkocet 6'.
Launch The.......Stick!!!!! The ground crew flea the area, as 'Urkocet 6' leaves its launch site. The Urkocet is the latest in W.S.M. (Wooden Stick to Monkey) technology. It locks onto the chip that Urko has in his head, and strikes him at over mach 5. The chip was beaten into Urko's head with a wooden stick, whilst he was held on the prison world of 'Urko 5'.